Thursday, July 26, 2007

Clarification

I put a comment in my last post regarding the counting of words and a reason why moms count them. I'd like to clarify what I was talking about. I can be a competitive person, and I've noticed since I've become a parent that I judge other parents far too hastily. I had an awful time of it when we were in Cali and constantly judged one person's parenting skills in particular. Since coming here, I've been stripped of my former self and have come to realize something: Everyone does things differently, but it doesn't make their way wrong.

Now, that doesn't mean I don't react when someone tells me they're doing something that I think is too early/too late/too dangerous/too strict, whatever. I just have had to learn to keep my mouth shut and only make mention of it if I feel that I won't be attacked and that it is truly beneficial to the other person. For instance, I knew a mom in Cali would couldn't get her son off the bottle (he was over 2.) That drives me nuts in general, because I personally get my own kids off baby things pretty early on. But in this case, I kept my mouth shut. One day she asked me how I got Matthew off the bottle so early and I told her that I threw them all away so he had no options. I haven't been so nice in other cases and I've had to learn to just keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself (and Rob.)

So, back to the counting words thing: if I did that, all I would do is compare my kid to everyone else's and think they were better/worse than other kids. So I don't. I count enough to know they are on the right track according to the doctor, and that's it. I just know for myself that I have to stop being competitive (and that everyone else isn't as competitive as me.) It's the same with the milestones--when they walk/talk/are potty trained, etc. I have to be careful, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Well, that's done. Hopefully I haven't stirred up too much and I covered my tracks on the counting thing. Next post: Matthew in VBS, or should I say, Matthew vs. VBS.....just to leave you hanging.

3 comments:

Shanti said...

aaaaah...you meant counting words in that way. No, I don't count words. Never did. Couldn't tell you how many words David can say. According to the books he's a bit behind, but I've just noticed all kids get to the same place eventually (as long as there really isn't something seriously wrong with them). You know my struggle with paranoia and anxiety over my kids and one way I deal with it is just not reading so much about what level they're supposed to be at or looking up every weird symptom they have. If you think I'm bad now you should have seen me when Angela was first born!! I think you mellow out more with each kid you have. Maybe I do need another one! haha!

Unknown said...

I posted your comment so I can hold you to your last statement :)

Shanti said...

hehehe.

I'll probably die of a panic attack first if I find out I'm pregnant. Then we'll never know if the third one will have mellowed me out. :-)